1. Follow the Other Person’s Lead

Think of conversations as a dance where both parties set the rhythm. If you sense that the other person is giving short or vague answers, it might signal that the topic is off-limits for them. Instead of pressing further, gracefully pivot to another subject.

Tip: Watch for body language and tone. If the other person seems closed off or uncomfortable, it’s best to respect their boundaries.

2. Avoid Hot-Button Issues

When you’re just getting to know someone, it’s best to steer clear of controversial topics like politics or religion. While these subjects can spark passionate discussions, they can also lead to discomfort or conflict, especially in initial conversations.

Tip: Focus on neutral topics that allow for open dialogue. Questions about hobbies, interests, or recent experiences can create a more relaxed atmosphere in which both parties feel comfortable sharing.

3. Notice Your Assumptions

We all have unconscious biases that influence our perceptions and interactions. These biases often manifest in our questions—making them potentially intrusive. It’s crucial to interrogate your own assumptions before firing off a question.

Tip: Instead of jumping to conclusions, frame your curiosity in a way that invites discussion without making assumptions. For example, instead of asking, “Why do you think that?” you might say, “I’m intrigued by your perspective; could you share more about how you arrived at it?”

4. Listen Actively

One of the most powerful tools in your arsenal is listening. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about genuinely engaging with what the other person is saying. Active listening encourages the other person to open up and share more, creating a natural flow to the conversation.

Tip: Show you’re listening by nodding, making eye contact, and providing verbal affirmations like “I see” or “That’s interesting.” When they see you engaged, they’ll be more likely to share openly.

5. Clarify and Ask Follow-up Questions

If something piques your interest, don’t hesitate to ask clarifying questions. However, ensure your follow-up questions are relevant and respectful, confirming your genuine interest rather than an attempt to pry.

Tip: A simple “Could you elaborate on that?” or “What led you to that conclusion?” can open the door for deeper conversation and show that you value their perspective.

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Curiosity is a fantastic tool for building relationships—when used appropriately. By following these tips, you’ll not only enhance your ability to foster connections but also create an environment where others feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences.

Remember, it’s all about balance; being curious without being intrusive is key. With practice, you’ll find that these conversations become richer and more rewarding for everyone involved. Next time you’re in a conversation, be mindful of your approach.

If you want to take your communication skills to the next level, we offer training that focuses on effective relationship-building strategies. Check out our services here!

What is Managing Up?
At its core, managing up is about adopting a client-service mindset and being supportive of your supervisor in a way that strengthens your relationship. It’s all about understanding their needs, being proactive, and positioning yourself as an indispensable asset.

Why is Managing Up Important?
Effective communication in the workplace is critical for success, but managing up takes it a step further. By understanding and anticipating your supervisor’s needs, you can help reduce their stress, improve team efficiency, and create a more harmonious work environment. Plus, it’s a surefire way to fast-track your own career progression.

Here are some top tips from our trainers to help you excel in managing up:

1. Adopt a Client-Service Mentality

Think of your supervisor as your internal client and focus on these four key areas:

• Empathy: Understand and appreciate your supervisor’s perspective and challenges.
• Add Value: Consistently find ways to contribute to your supervisor’s success.
• Transparency: Keep communication open and honest.
• Stay Coachable: Be receptive to feedback and willing to adapt.

2. Remember, Supervisors are People Too

It’s easy to forget that supervisors and senior colleagues are just human. They make mistakes, face challenges, and strive to serve clients as best as they can. A little empathy goes a long way.

3. Understand Your Supervisor

To be a valuable resource, it’s essential to understand your supervisor’s behaviors, preferences, goals, and anxieties. What matters most to them? What keeps them up at night? By grasping these aspects, you can better support their needs.

4. Practice Transparent Communication

Transparency is key to effective communication. Focus on these three areas:

• Be Proactive: Provide information before it’s asked for or needed.
• Be Clear: Be succinct and specific in all communication. Remember, “bottom line up front.”
• Know When to Ask: Seek approval or guidance before straying too far from the original assignment. Understand how your supervisor prefers to be communicated with.

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Managing up is more than just a buzzword—it’s a powerful strategy for building strong relationships, enhancing workplace communication, and driving success. By adopting a client-service mindset, showing empathy, understanding your supervisor, and practicing transparent communication, you’ll become an invaluable asset to your team.

Looking to take your managing up skills to the next level? Book a call to learn about how the services we can provide for you and your team!

We’ve all been there. You feel like you’ve said the same thing over and over about what someone needs to do to improve their performance, and yet nothing ever seems to change. Over time, these feedback conversations become more and more frustrating for you and the other person, leading to frayed patience, stinging words, and an even bigger downward spiral in their performance—the very thing you wanted to improve in the first place! Want to break the feedback doom loop? Here are four pro tips that will help your feedback stick so you can get the best out of others and be the leader you aspire to be.

Why Feedback Doesn’t Always Take

Want to know why you’ve had so many conversations about what needs to improve and nothing changes? It probably has a lot to do with how human beings are fundamentally wired.  

Because the brain’s primary purpose is to keep us alive, it’s primed to be on the lookout for threats. Even if the conversation seems benign to you, feedback can still feel scary to the other person. Unfortunately, once the brain is hijacked and we move into a threat response, we aren’t capable of listening well and processing information. So even when the other person nods their head in understanding, if they are in distress, they can’t really hear what you have to say. In fact, all they are probably thinking about is digging in to defend their position (fight) or escaping from you (flight), leading to less progress and more frustration on both sides. For more on how you can manage yourself well during feedback conversations, check out this blog from my colleague Veronica Matthews.

Catch them doing something right

The fastest way to break the cycle? Be intentional about noticing what they do right and enthusiastically recognize it in the moment. As Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall note, “By helping your team member recognize what excellence looks like [ ]—by saying, “That! Yes, that!”—you’re offering [] her the chance to gain an insight; you’re highlighting a pattern that is already there [ ] within her so that [they] can recognize it, anchor it, re-create it, and refine it.” 

When people feel good because their accomplishments are recognized, they will feel motivated to do those things, even more, to keep those positive emotions flowing. So if you are overly aggressive in anything you do when it comes to feedback, make it noticing them doing things the way you want and call it out!

Keep it clean!

It’s normal to be frustrated when working with someone who seems stuck. Unfortunately, our false perceptions about why they are stuck can lead us to be extra spicy and even personal in our feedback exchanges, all of which are counterproductive to behavior change.

To remove the sting from your conversation, prep ahead of time and focus on using “clean” language free of adjectives and descriptors. Just stick with sharing the who, what, when, and where of the situation. Notice I skipped the why. This is because why often implies judgment, and feedback that sticks is grounded facts and not your interpretation of the other person’s motivations. As Dane Jensen and Peggy Baumgartner write, “This ability to separate observations from interpretations is the cornerstone of effective feedback because it minimizes the potential for debate (“I wasn’t rude; I was direct!”) and keeps the discussion focused squarely on observable facts.” 

Make it about learning…not lecturing

One of my coaching mentors recently told me, when it comes to development, “The treasure is in the bumps in the road.” So once you’ve delivered a descriptor-free summary of your observations, help them find the gold in their performance hiccups by having a learning-focused conversation, not a lecture.  

 Ask open-ended questions, like:

“When you faced a challenge like this in the past, what worked for you?”

“What will you do differently next time?”

“What obstacles might you face along the way?”

But the conversation shouldn’t just be about what they can do. By asking, “What can I start/stop doing that will make it easier to work with me?”, you can strengthen your partnership and make it clear that feedback is good for you too. You might even find there is something specific you can do, like being more explicit about due dates, that will help accelerate their progress and reshape their perception of you. 

Most importantly, follow up regularly

In the Marine Corps, we say: “Supervision is the most important troop leading step,” and this is especially true when it comes to behavioral change. The more consistent non-judgmental rudder steers and positive reinforcement we can provide along the way, the more emotionally ready your colleague will be to receive feedback in the future and the faster they will improve. So, create reminders on your calendar to follow up. And if they tell you something isn’t working, collaborate on new options, which will further cement your partnership and learning. 

As you move forward, be prepared for setbacks. It’s human nature to revert back to familiar behaviors, especially when we are under stress. When you notice this, simply share your observation with them in a non-judgmental way and ask what they are noticing. Often, just having a short conversation is enough to create awareness and get things back on track.

Remember that the effort you put into upping your own feedback game to improve your team’s performance can also ensure you show up in the way you aspire to as a leader. The more you demonstrate your own willingness to learn and grow, the more open others will be to changing and the more accelerated their growth will be– proof that feedback that sticks but doesn’t sting is a win-win for everyone.

Did you find the pro tips for giving feedback in this blog post helpful? At Fringe, we have a ton of tricks up our sleeves that you can use to improve how you communicate and lead. Schedule a call with us to discuss how a workshop on feedback or our coaching support could help you strengthen relationships and elevate your team’s performance to the next level. 

I remember when I met with my first business accountant in 2017. I sat in his formal office space, trying to explain to him the business I envisioned and seeking his input on how to think about the finances of such a business. Most people don’t remember a meeting with an accountant nearly seven years later. Still, this meeting stands out because I knew in that one-hour conversation that we were fundamentally misaligned. I knew this because of one small thing the accountant said to me. “Well,” he mused, looking at my anticipatory budget spreadsheet, “at some point, you’ll need to add office space to this budget.” I was confused, befuddled, and even amused! I thought, why would I ever want to take on the headache of a physical office? Even if I had a staff someday, I couldn’t imagine limiting my recruiting to one market, taking on significant overhead when all of our work happens in the cloud, or asking team members to take time out of their busy lives to commute daily. 

Of course, in 2017, a fully remote workforce was a fantasy most people didn’t even know was an option! Queue 2020 and a global pandemic, and suddenly, everyone who used to go to an office daily lived in my virtual remote working world. Granted, that transition wasn’t by choice and was remarkably abrupt, but eyes were opened, and we’d never look at office work the same way again. Now, here we are almost four years later, and industry digests and news publications are riddled with articles about organizations pushing (bribing, coercing…?) their employees back into the office. So, this one goes out to all the leaders of remote and hybrid teams – yes, they still exist! Let’s talk about effectively leading a team when you’re NOT returning to an office. 

Tell me MORE:

Effective communication lies at the heart of successful leadership in hybrid and remote teams. Leaders must be adept at conveying their vision, goals, and expectations clearly and consistently. Clear communication involves mastering written communication and leveraging various digital tools for virtual meetings, instant messaging, and collaborative platforms. At Fringe, we use the project management tool Monday.com and video messaging from Loom to ensure our communication is effective and efficient. Furthermore, active listening is a crucial communication component, ensuring team members feel heard and valued despite the physical distance.

Get it online

As you can see in the tools mentioned above,  hybrid leaders must be comfortable with technology. Familiarity with the tools and platforms your team uses is vital. Moreover, embracing new technology and staying up-to-date with digital trends can improve your team’s efficiency and innovation.  Hello, AI! I have heard many leaders tell me they “aren’t good at tech,” and I understand feeling overwhelmed by it. But remember, due to the nature of the products and use cases, these technologies are designed for anyone to be able to pick them up if you take the time to learn them. 

Stop Being “Big Brother”

You can have all the tools and communication skills in the world, but a hybrid or remote environment will never work if you don’t trust your team. Trust starts with hiring folks you believe in and builds with targeted behaviors once they join your team. Leaders should foster an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. You build trust through transparency, consistent follow-through on commitments, and providing support when needed. Remember, trust is the foundation of collaboration and teamwork, regardless of physical proximity.

Engage Your Empathy

Speaking of building trust, leaders who exhibit empathy and emotional intelligence are better equipped to understand their team members’ feelings and needs. Remote and hybrid team members might face unique challenges, such as feelings of isolation or difficulty balancing work and personal life. Leaders who can empathize with these challenges and offer support through regular check-ins or flexible work arrangements will foster a more positive and motivated team.

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!

Remote work can blur the lines between work and personal life. Leaders must encourage and empower their teams to establish boundaries and manage their time effectively. Start by encouraging the utilization of flex policies and downtime to prevent burnout. It’s your job to be on the front lines of ensuring boundaries are established and followed through on. For example, we have an unlimited paid time off policy. When most people who have worked in large organizations hear this, I can sense the eye roll coming. Unlimited PTO at most places is a shiny recruiting tool that practically has an unspoken rule to utilize only in case of severe emergencies. It’s a classic organizational bait & switch. At Fringe, we track PTO, and if a team member isn’t taking it, they WILL get a call from leadership not only encouraging them to do so but partnering with them to find and schedule leave as soon as possible. 

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of any team, and in a remote or hybrid setting, it can escalate if not addressed promptly. Leaders should be skilled in conflict resolution, fostering open and respectful discussions to resolve issues. Addressing conflicts early can prevent them from escalating and negatively affecting team morale.

Team Building and Recognition

Building a sense of camaraderie in a remote or hybrid team can be challenging, but it’s essential for team cohesion. Leaders should organize virtual team-building activities, celebrate achievements, and recognize team members’ contributions in their digital public forums. These actions create a positive and inclusive team culture, even in a dispersed work environment.

Leading a hybrid or remote team requires unique skills and behaviors focusing on effective communication, trust-building, adaptability, and empathy. By mastering these essential qualities, leaders can navigate the challenges and reap the benefits of this evolving work landscape, ultimately driving success for their teams and organizations. 

Sweaty palms, dry mouth, temples pulsing, fast beating heart. No, that isn’t you perched on the platform preparing to zipline; that’s you thinking about giving feedback to someone on your team. If dread or nervousness is your typical response when you think of having to give developmental feedback, don’t worry, you aren’t alone. 

There are various reasons managers would rather zipline over the Atlantic Ocean than give feedback, including not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, not knowing how to provide effective feedback, fear of demotivating employees, and not knowing how the person will respond. According to a Chief Executive article, Why Leaders Avoid Giving Feedback, leaders especially fear feedback conversations because they don’t want to damage their working relationship with the other person. Whatever the reason, what do all of these justifications have in common? You! The feedback giver. Your fears, anxieties, and assumptions lie at the root of your not feeling more comfortable giving feedback. But the good news is you don’t really belong in the equation at all. The more you can shift from being you-focused to focusing on the person receiving the feedback, the more at ease you’ll be with giving feedback (even the most constructive). 

Why Do We Care So Much About Feedback?

Feedback is information about a person’s performance. Feedback can be positive and negative and simply tells a person what behaviors they should start doing, what they should stop doing, and what they should continue to do. Without getting feedback on all three of these dimensions, your team members’ professional growth is stunted. Quite naturally, we engage in behaviors we think will help us succeed. But we don’t know what we don’t know. We need others, our supervisors, our peers, and those who report to us, to give us their perspective on our behavior to learn what behaviors will help us succeed and do so effectively and efficiently.

While you may be the person observing (and being impacted by) the behavior and giving the feedback, it’s not about you when it comes to delivering the feedback. Feedback is a gift to the recipient, designed to help their growth. They are the star of this conversation, not you.

But feedback conversations can be very vulnerable. Giving and receiving feedback can make even the toughest professional feel uneasy. Feedback conversations may generate feelings of discomfort. If these feelings prevent you from delivering feedback, you’re letting your comfort hinder someone else’s professional growth. And how fair is that? If you find yourself in this space, here are four ways to reduce your fear of uncomfortable feedback conversations.

Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes

While we all know about the Golden Rule – treat others as you want to be treated – by now, we’ve hopefully all up-leveled to the Platinum Rule – treat others the way that they want to be treated. Applying the Platinum Rule in feedback conversations will go a long way toward making both the feedback giver and receiver more comfortable. For example, if you know that the receiver isn’t much of a morning person and isn’t entirely on top of their game until 11 AM, don’t schedule a tough feedback conversation for the first thing in the morning. 

But what if you don’t know that much about the other person? Maybe you’ve only worked with them for a limited time and haven’t had the opportunity to observe them in different situations or learn much about them. In that case, we’ll allow falling back on the Golden Rule. More than likely, in a feedback conversation, you would want to be treated with respect and compassion in an honest and cordial manner. For most of us, receiving feedback makes us feel very vulnerable, so the need to treat others with care goes up exponentially when giving feedback. When you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, your compassion, empathy, and good intentions will lead the conversation. 

And don’t forget your intention. Your intent in giving the feedback is to help them grow, so keep focused on how they can use this feedback to improve and succeed. The more you think of the other person, the less you will think about yourself and the less discomfort you will have around the conversation.

Ask Some Questions

Now that you’re clear with your intention to help the other person improve, what do you want to share with them? Preparing for the conversation. What aspects of the person’s performance are going well? What are the behaviors that are contributing to their success? What behaviors should the person stop doing to be more effective? What behaviors can the person start doing that will help them get to the next level of performance? What are things that the person doesn’t know that you have observed that hurt their performance? What are the examples that you can bring up to support the information that you plan to share? What is the impact of the behavior on the team, client, or the organization and why does the behavior matter? Write some talking points to use as a guide for the conversation. How might the recipient react? How will you respond? Thinking through navigating objections or worst-case scenarios will build your confidence and help you communicate more effectively in the moment. 

Plan and Practice

Feedback conversations are too often had off-the-cuff and with minimal preparation. If giving feedback tends to cause you anxiety, you might spend more time stewing in your downward spiral of emotion than preparing for the actual conversation. One way to pull yourself out of that emotional storm is to turn on the more analytical part of your brain by planning the feedback conversation. This has the dual benefit of calming your anxiety and ensuring that the feedback recipient is getting the most thorough and accurate information you have.

Be clear with yourself about the message that you want to communicate. Ask yourself questions to help you hone in on the key behaviors you want the person to start doing, keep doing, or stop doing. What examples can you point to of the particular behavior? What is the impact of the behavior on the team, client, or organization? And why is shifting or continuing this behavior necessary? Write some talking points to use as a guide for the conversation. 

Remember that this is a conversation, not a monologue. Think through how the recipient might respond. Might they have any objections or defenses? How will you navigate those? Thinking through navigating objections or worst-case scenarios will both build your confidence and help you communicate more effectively in the moment. 

Then, role-play! This thought may be cringe-inducing, but practicing having a conversation with someone else beforehand will supercharge your preparation. You will be more comfortable if, during the feedback, the conversation isn’t the first time you’re speaking the words aloud. During your role-play, resist the urge to expound, deviate far from your talking points, or go off script. This could lead to rambling and confusion. Practice saying a point, stopping to listen for a response, and asking follow-up questions—preparation and practice help reduce your fear of having an uncomfortable feedback conversation.

Hold the conversation

Breathe, stretch, and relax as best you can before you have the conversation. Put time on the calendar so that the conversation is scheduled, not impromptu, so that you can have a private space to meet, minimizing distractions and interruptions, and so that the other person is emotionally prepared to receive some feedback.

Even though you’ve prepared your talking points, don’t jump right in. Ask the other person some questions first. Ask what they think they’ve been doing well and what they could improve. By letting the recipient lead, you’re both demonstrating that you care about their opinion and taking some of the pressure off yourself. Their answers should align with your message. And if not, well, now you have more information about their perspective that will help you have a more productive conversation.

Once you’ve communicated your feedback, ask some more questions. Ask what their takeaways are from your feedback, actively listen to what they say, and reflect back and or clarify what you hear. You may not have practiced every potential response the person can have, and that’s OK, remain composed and take a curious posture, resisting getting defensive or adversarial. Stick to your points, be clear, and set agreements around the action the person will take to improve. Remember to be kind, respectful, and empathetic. Be sure that at the end of the conversation, both you and the recipient agree on the message and next steps, and have the recipient memorialize that in email so that you know where you’re starting from next time.

Giving feedback can be awkward and uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be. Remember that feedback is just information – critical information that the other person needs to develop. Center the other person and take the focus off of yourself and your feelings. By following the four steps above, you can be sure that your next feedback conversation will be effective and a bit more pleasant for you.

Schedule a call with us to discuss how a workshop on feedback or our coaching support could help you and your colleagues reduce the fear surrounding having feedback conversations. 

It’s no secret, lawyers and the legal profession have been referred to as dog-eat-dog. It is understandable why – the legal system is inherently adversarial; the situations involve high stakes; and there are extreme time pressures. One might also say that many successful attorneys came up through the ranks under partners who could be described as bristly, all in the name of learning how to be resilient and tough.

No doubt, clients may yell, opposing counsel will oftentimes go for the jugular, and judges will be no-nonsense. No doubt, associates will need to learn how to respond to these situations without folding under pressure. What better way to train them in how to respond than by being mean, adversarial, and harsh, right? Actually, No! 

Just because that’s how it was done in the past doesn’t make it the best way to handle things now, or ever, really. In fact, being mean, bristly, and overly harsh could be regarded as bullying and uncivil, which could have damaging effects on your firm’s culture and ability to retain your top talent. No one will disagree that having thick skin in the legal profession is necessary; however, being mean to your associates with the intention of toughening them up just may backfire on you.

In fact, Christine Porath, author of Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace, says that “rudeness and disrespect can pass from person to person like a virus and the human and financial toll on companies can be devastating.” Her findings include that incivility made people far less motivated, resulting in 66% less work effort, 80% loss of work time, and 12% choosing to leave their employment. According to 2Civility, 65% of people globally express that the lack of civility and mutual respect today is at its worst, and 54% of lawyers have experienced uncivil or unprofessional behavior in the last 6 months, as reported by the Illinois Supreme Court Commission on Professionalism. 

If your firm has been experiencing low employee engagement, high turnover, and high levels of employee burnout, consider that incivility in the workplace could be a culprit and that the “Suck it up Buttercup” philosophy is backfiring. In fact, when you look at the actual results of toughening up associates through incivility you see that this philosophy is really a Buttercup Fallacy. Especially when there are better ways to ‘toughen up’ your associates so that they are prepared for rude clients, overbearing opposing counsel, and potentially short-tempered judges. 

3 Costly Ways “Suck it Up Buttercup” Backfires

1. Low Employee Engagement

Gallup defines Employee Engagement as the involvement and enthusiasm employees have in their work and their workplace. Job satisfaction is closely tied to employees’ enthusiasm for their work and their employer. When employees aren’t treated with respect, they will check out and disengage from the offending parties and lose interest in their work. Far worse, they will lose respect for the people that treat them disrespectfully. Low engagement and disengagement are costly side effects of the Buttercup Fallacy. 

2. Burnout

According to a  Bloomberg Law study, respondents reported experiencing burnout 52% of the time. Burnout is a state of exhaustion that affects the physical, emotional, and mental aspects of a person caused by prolonged or repeated stress, especially from work or interpersonal situations. The Buttercup Fallacy is an example of this type of interpersonal situation – the unnecessary mistreatment of one person by another for the sake of creating resiliency. Burnout isn’t just stress; it is the impact of stress over long periods of time and under extreme conditions. The average person, and the team here at Fringe PD, would certainly consider being berated, yelled at, or subject to less than respectful treatment as an extreme condition. And, before you jump in with the “but they mean well” argument, let me share that the impact of this treatment is more important than the intent. Even if the intent is to create a more resilient attorney, the impact will lead to burnout before that attorney has the opportunity to build that supposed resilience.

3. Turnover

After an employee loses interest in their work and their departure from the firm is often not far behind. With the effects of burnout in the picture, their departure will likely be accelerated. Even if a few associates tough it out, and grow that thick skin becoming bulldog attorneys, many, many more will simply leave. According to the NALP Foundation’s 2021 report that 6% of first-year associates leave in their first year due to the lack of work-life balance, and, you guessed it, a toxic work culture. And this outcome doesn’t come cheap. Turnover costs organizations a pretty penny. In 2018, collectively, according to Attorney at Work, the top 400 law firms in the country lost $9.1 billion annually. In 2022, the figure stands at $1 trillion or can range between 20-400% of an employee’s salary. These costs and losses are an extremely high price for wanting to toughen up a few associates.

How to Train Tough Attorneys Without the Buttercup Fallacy

If partners and supervisors aren’t emulating tough clients, opposing counsel, and judges, how can we train associates to deal with those situations effectively? There are a few things you want to put in place. 

• Check in with the firm’s culture. Studies show when an employee is engaged with meaningful work AND in a positive company culture, their work quality can increase as much as 33%. Has the Buttercup philosophy permeated your firm’s culture? Or are there only a few holdouts engaging in this behavior? The data doesn’t lie – positive and engaging cultures lead to more productive and satisfied employees. So if the goal is to train effective and productive lawyers, the culture needs to shift away from the Buttercup Fallacy.
• Reward respectful behavior. Reflect on what incentives are in place at your firm. Look at who gets promoted and rewarded. If those who have a reputation for being difficult, yelling, and treating others disrespectfully get rewarded, their behavior will be emulated by others. Instead, be sure to reward the attorneys that have a reputation for upholding the firm’s values. Be sure that those are the behaviors that are called out and visible to others as key indicators of being a successful attorney.
• Provide training on dealing with difficult people. Associates don’t have to be exposed to disrespectful treatment to know how to handle it. Group training and small group or one-on-one coaching can give associates the skills and experience they need to handle uncomfortable and high-pressure situations. In fact, if an associate feels more engaged and confident in their work, they’re likely much more able to handle and bounce back from a contentious situation than if they’re burnt out and reactionary. (Reach out to us at FringePD to learn more about these solutions!)
• Provide coaching for the Partners. While behavior shifts are not easy, with the proper support and motivation, behavior shifts are possible. Often successful attorneys need to be reminded that they succeeded not because of the uncivil environments they came up in but in spite of them. Coaching can help folks realize that they are repeating behavior patterns that they themselves did not enjoy when they were more junior, and it can help build management toolboxes so that supervisors can train associates appropriately without resorting to this type of toxic exposure therapy. 

The age-old strategies for strengthening an associate’s resilience against rude and insolent behavior by subjecting them to said behavior are overrated and outdated. Civility and development are much more effective approaches to helping associates stand up to the pressures they will face as attorneys. And, not coincidentally, these are also the things that help create a positive firm culture that can retain top talent. Try them on for size and see the powerful effects they will have on your firm.

Schedule time with us today to learn more about how to shift some of these entrenched management philosophies and create more effective learning cultures. 

If you manage people, you may never have considered whether your leadership style hinders your team’s potential. But it’s an important question to ask. Whether you have reflected on it or not, now is a great time to explore how flexing your leadership style – adapting outside of your comfort zone – may improve your relationships and outcomes.

Before we jump in, what do we mean by “leadership style”? In this context, we’re talking about the way that you interact with your team, including how you communicate, how you complete team goals, and how you manage yourself and others. 

As a leader of people, having a consistent style is crucial. After all, your team benefits from consistency and clarity. But knowing when and where to adapt can make all the difference in unlocking your team’s capabilities. We often find that the leaders we work with lean too far in one direction or another. They either bend to the whim of every team member, creating chaos for their team and leaving themself feeling like they’re being pulled in a million directions, or they “are who they are” and refuse to adapt, leaving their team feeling unheard and boxed in. 

Let’s dive into the challenges of holding strong vs. flexing, the consequences of an inflexible approach, and how you can more effectively adapt. 

The Benefits of Having a Well-Defined Leadership Style:

It’s important to note that having a well-defined leadership style is important for every leader. You are always you, and this isn’t about changing your personality or your values. But you want to do some reflection and understand what your leadership style is so that you can adapt it when necessary. 

There are great benefits to having a clear and consistent style. Having an established style often helps build trust within a team, as it allows folks to understand their leader and get to know how to effectively work with them. This trust creates a more collaborative atmosphere, where team members feel empowered to share ideas, suggest solutions, and work together. But maintaining a clear and consistent style is not the same as establishing a rigid style, which has drawbacks.

The Pitfalls of Rigid Leadership:

Leaders who remain steadfast in their approach, unwilling to adapt to their team’s needs because they are, after all, “in charge,” often face diminished productivity, disengagement, and a lack of innovation. While a command and control leadership style can be effective in certain situations, it becomes counterproductive when it stifles creativity, disregards individual strengths, and fails to address changing circumstances. It’s essential to recognize the drawbacks of rigidity and understand that leadership isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach.

Consider a detail-oriented manager who insists on sticking to the plan regardless of the curveballs thrown at a project. They may struggle to lead effectively in chaotic environments where quick decisions are needed. The inflexible approach of this manager will likely prevent their team from reaching their full potential. 

The Art of Flexing:

Flexing requires self-awareness and a deep understanding of team members’ behaviors, motivations, and aspirations. By developing this insight, you can tailor your leadership style to their needs while remaining true to your values. Flexing situationally and strategically is vital; it’s not about yielding to every request that comes your way. Instead, it’s about discerning the moments where adaptation can foster growth, collaboration, and overall team success.

For example, a leader who typically provides their team with a detailed outline for how they want to address a problem may find immense benefit in giving their team more leeway when facing complex or novel challenges. By giving goals and guidance, but allowing the team to create the strategy for completion, the leader can encourage and draw out creative and innovative solutions that they may have never discovered on their own. 

And flexibility doesn’t only apply on the team level. Leaders can build stronger relationships with each of their team members if they understand how those individuals prefer to communicate and meet them in that style where appropriate. While a particular manager might love to engage in small talk and to get to know folks on a personal level, a team member may be more reserved and prefer to keep conversations strictly business. If the manager persists in trying to ask questions about this person’s personal life, the team member may feel uncomfortable and seek to lessen their interaction with their manager. On the other hand, if the manager picks up on this person’s style and adapts, they can keep their conversations more focused on the work at hand and build their relationship through those interactions, keeping the team member at ease. 

Concrete Strategies for Determining When to Flex:

So how do we know when it’s time to be flexible and when it’s time to stick to our leadership preferences? Cultivate the following skills, and this question will become easier to answer for yourself. 

1. Embrace Active Listening: Create an open environment where team members feel heard, valued, and encouraged to share. Actively listen, seeking to understand their perspectives and motivations, and pick up on what about their values, preferences, and style they’re communicating to you between the lines.
2. Assess Situational Needs: Evaluate the unique dynamics and challenges of each situation. Consider the strengths and weaknesses of your team members, the project requirements, and external factors impacting the task at hand. Adjust your leadership style accordingly. If you manage everyone in the same way, that’s a big sign that it’s time to reassess the effectiveness of that approach.
3. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Develop your ability to empathize and connect with others. Remember that we’ve graduated from the Golden Rule (treat others how you want to be treated) to the Platinum Rule: treat others the way that they want to be treated. Understanding others’ wants and needs will help you more effectively adapt when appropriate.
4. Encourage Autonomy: Trust your team members to make decisions within their areas of expertise. Empower them to take ownership, fostering a sense of accountability and innovation.
5. Continuously Learn and Grow: Be open to feedback and reflect on your leadership practices. In fact, don’t just be open to feedback, but actively seek it out from your team members. We often don’t have a good sense of how others perceive us, and we can’t understand that unless we specifically ask for it. (Check out this article for more tips on how to get helpful feedback as a leader.)

By flexing your leadership style, you can tap into your team’s diverse talents and strengths, fostering an environment that encourages collaboration, creativity, and high performance. Remember, the goal isn’t to abandon your core values and principles but to adapt your approach so that everyone on your team can succeed. 

As a leader, your ultimate goal is to create an environment where your team thrives. This requires a thoughtful balance between holding strong and flexing, which can only be achieved through building self-awareness and emotional intelligence to understand how your style impacts each of your team members. Embrace the power of flexing, and watch your team achieve new heights of success, innovation, and fulfillment.

Reach out for more ideas on how you can develop your own leadership style and effectively communicate with and manage your team.

Creativity is an incredibly powerful tool that has the potential to unlock solutions and new ideas in any workplace. After spending my early professional years steeped in the creative world, I came to law firms and was shocked by the fear, reluctance, and lack of credibility surrounding the creative process. All too often, traditional “linear” workplaces prioritize more logical, analytical thinking over creative approaches—leading many professional employees to feel like their creativity is not valued. Today, we are talking about how introducing creative thinking into a linear workplace can provide a massive benefit to businesses and employees. We’ll explore the positive outcomes of creative thinking and strategies for introducing it into a more structured environment. By tapping into the power of creativity, any organization can unlock new possibilities and create an environment where employees feel valued and inspired to do their best work. And the best part – no jazz hands required!

What do we mean by a “linear workplace”?

A linear workplace is one in which organization and decision-making take place along traditional, predictable lines. It typically involves a strict hierarchy, with decisions being made from the top down and with little room for creativity or deviation from existing rules. In this environment, employees are expected to follow instructions precisely and conform to established structures without room for innovation or creative expression.

OK, so how do we define creative thinking?

Creative thinking is a type of problem-solving process that involves generating, exploring, and testing ideas. It entails the use of imagination, intuition, divergent thinking skills, and out-of-the-box solutions to come up with original ideas or solve complex problems. Creative thinking encourages employees to think outside the box and come up with innovative solutions that can help the organization. Unlike linear thinking, which is more analytical and follows a structured process to reach a solution, creative thinking allows employees to come up with ideas without any predetermined parameters or restrictions. It encourages employees to be open-minded and think of unconventional solutions that might otherwise have gone unnoticed.

Most organizations benefit from a healthy mix of linear thinking (prediction logic) and creative thinking (creation logic) from their employees, but many still lean into one or the other. Organizations can gain advantages and unlock new possibilities by utilizing both types of thinking in the workplace. We have partnered with countless clients who have utilized the improvisation skills and the design thinking process taught in our Fringe workshops to bring creative thinking to their linear leaning teams, and the results have been phenomenal!  Here’s why…

Benefits of Creative Thinking in a Linear Workplace

Increased motivation and morale

By introducing creative thinking into a linear workplace, employees can feel more inspired and motivated to do their best work. Creative thinking encourages employees to explore new ideas, test different approaches, and come up with innovative solutions. This allows employees to feel empowered in their work as they are given the opportunity to use their imagination and creativity. It also helps spark collaboration among employees as they can work together to brainstorm ideas and come up with creative solutions. When employees are given the freedom to think creatively, it creates an environment where they feel valued and inspired to do their best work.

Improved problem-solving skills

Creative thinking can also help improve problem-solving skills in the workplace. By introducing creative thinking into a linear workplace, employees are encouraged to use their imagination and come up with solutions that may not have been considered before. This helps employees develop new problem-solving techniques and become better equipped to tackle complex situations. Creative thinking can also give employees the opportunity to think outside the box and come up with creative solutions that can benefit the entire organization. This helps employees stay ahead by introducing new ideas or approaches while helping them become better problem-solvers. With improved problem-solving skills, organizations can be more agile, efficient, and productive.

Enhanced collaboration among co-workers

Creative thinking can also help enhance collaboration among co-workers in a linear workplace. Encouraging employees to think outside the box and develop innovative solutions allows them to work together to brainstorm ideas and collaborate on projects. This helps foster teamwork, communication, and trust (psychological safety FTW!) among employees as they are allowed to voice their opinions and work together to develop creative solutions. Creative thinking also helps create an open and supportive environment where employees feel more comfortable expressing their ideas and opinions without fear of criticism from their peers or superiors. This encourages collaboration between different departments, allowing them to collaborate better on projects and come up with creative solutions that can benefit the entire organization.

Increased creativity and innovation

Finally, I know this one may be obvious, but introducing creative thinking into the workplace can help increase creativity! Encouraging employees to explore new ideas and come up with unconventional solutions helps push boundaries and introduce new ways of thinking. This can help open up opportunities for an organization in ways they could never have imagined before. Creative thinking also helps foster a culture of innovation, where employees are encouraged to come up with creative solutions that can benefit the organization in the long run.

Hopefully, you’re on board by this point. So let’s tackle how to implement creative thinking into your linear workplace!

Tips for Implementing Creative Thinking in a Linear Workplace

1 – Encourage collaboration between co-workers

Collaboration is key when it comes to introducing creative thinking in the workplace. Open up communication between employees and encourage them to work together to brainstorm ideas and come up with creative solutions. Creative thinking requires employees to think outside the box and explore new ideas. Encourage employees to research and brainstorm together to come up with creative solutions to problems. Reward teams who work collaboratively to find unique or innovative ideas to ensure that employees feel valued and encouraged. Celebrate the WE, not the ME.

2 – Create an environment that encourages creative thinking 

Create an environment that is conducive to creative thinking by encouraging open communication and collaboration between employees. Make sure to provide resources and training for employees so they can stay up-to-date with the latest problem-solving techniques and become better equipped to tackle complex situations. This also means creating space for people to be creative, a real obstacle in most fast-paced organizations. Creativity isn’t linear, so it doesn’t follow a standard pattern. Be sure you create the space needed to solve your gnarliest problems and don’t rush those timelines!

3 – Provide opportunities for employees to practice free-form expression of ideas

Give employees the opportunity to express their ideas freely during meetings and brainstorming sessions. This will help them become more comfortable exploring new concepts and expressing their creativity without feeling judged or criticized by their peers. It can also lead to greater collaboration between departments as they can work together to come up with creative solutions.  One simple technique we teach is to make sure that all voices are heard in each meeting where brainstorming is taking place. Leaders, ensure you set this expectation at the top of the meeting, and if you haven’t heard from someone, invite them to share if they have anything to add.

4 – Establish a culture of innovation and risk-taking

This one can be scary for my more risk-averse friends. But, I promise, there are areas in your organization where taking small risks will have a positive impact on procedures and internal affairs and little impact on the bottom line. Creative thinking requires taking risks and exploring new ideas. Encourage employees to step out of their comfort zone and suggest unconventional solutions that could benefit the organization in the long run. This will help foster a culture of creativity and innovation, which is important for any successful organization. Make sure that employees have the necessary resources and training to come up with creative solutions. This can include providing access to technology, books, and other materials to help them think outside the box.

Creative thinking can be a powerful tool when it comes to increasing motivation, morale, and collaboration among employees. It helps open up opportunities for an organization as it allows them to explore potential markets or develop innovative products that can set them apart from their competitors. Furthermore, creative thinking helps foster a culture of innovation, where employees are encouraged to come up with creative solutions that can benefit the organization in the long run.

Organizations looking to introduce creative thinking into their workplace should encourage collaboration between co-workers, create an environment that encourages creative thinking, provide opportunities for employees to practice free-form expression of ideas, and establish a culture of innovation

If you’re looking for a way to spark creativity in your workplace, check out Fringe PD’s interactive workshops! Our experienced team of professionals will help your team create an environment that encourages creative thinking and collaboration among co-workers. With our customizable packages, you’ll be able to develop a plan that works best for you and your organization. Contact us today for more information!

When recruiting and interviewing candidates, the goals are simple: find the best people for the job as efficiently as possible, with an accepted offer at the end of the process. Often, however, we spend so much time focusing on trying to find the best people that we forget the critical steps that will get us there. Recruiting is an expensive and time-intensive process, so here are three areas that, with a little planning and intention, can go a long way toward ensuring that your organization is making the right hiring decisions the first time. 

Top Five Items to Prepare for the Interview

Successful interviewees usually spend days, if not weeks, preparing for their interview. Yet, too often, interviewers have the candidate’s resume and no other guidance or resources to prepare. While interviewers often say they feel confident in their interviewing skills, many organizations have no clear way of measuring an interviewer’s skill in the recruiting process. Ensuring interviewers are just as prepared for the interview as the candidates sets the entire process up for success.Here are some steps to take to make sure your interviewer has everything they need.

1. Define Candidate Success

Far too frequently, reliance on a gut feeling determines our belief in whether a candidate would do well in a role. But, our guts are unreliable and tend to entrench biases. Usually, someone passes the “gut test” if they seem similar to the interviewer or to folks who are already in the role. Relying on the “gut test” means candidates with diverse experiences are often passed over, and homogenous cultures emerge.

The first step to breaking free of the “gut test” is to specifically define success for the role. Identify the core competencies that someone would need to demonstrate in order to perform at a high level. Once those are identified, get even more concrete. Specify the actual behaviors that make up each competency. For example, if pro-active ownership is a core competency for the role, behaviors to look for are examples of the candidate taking on projects that were outside of the scope of their assigned work or of identifying an issue and proposing a solution before being asked. These behaviors, also known as success indicators or positive indicators, define success in the role and give your interviewers and decision-makers a road map of what to look for.

2. Write Impactful Questions

Interviewers are often left on their own regarding what questions to ask. This can result in interviewers asking candidates to repeat information already contained in their resume or asking candidates obscure questions (the infamous, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?) that illuminate little about potential success in the role.

Once core competencies and positive indicators have been identified, give your interviewers questions designed to elicit the behaviors you’re looking for. Behavioral interview questions (e.g., Tell me about a time when…) will bring you to the heart of the candidate’s experiences. Their answers will either demonstrate that they’ve engaged in desired behaviors or not and will give you a much better baseline to judge potential success than knowing that this person sees themselves as a sugar maple.

3. Listen Carefully

Asking great questions isn’t the only role of the interviewer. They also need to listen to the answers. And this is where our brains often trip us up. Our brains are designed for interpersonal communication through storytelling. We love a good story! And asking behavioral interview questions results in hearing a lot of stories. But unless we’re interviewing for the role of a professional storyteller, we want to resist the urge to get sucked into a story. Someone might tell a riveting and entertaining story that exhibits none of the positive indicators we’re looking for. If we aren’t careful, we might move them through to the next step because we had such a great time listening to them. With each question, the interviewer should have a list of key success indicators they are listening for and check them off as they hear them. This keeps the focus on the skills needed for success rather than on entertainment value.

4. Capture the Feedback that Matters

Conducting an interview takes time, and the last thing an interviewer wants to do after the interview concludes is complete an onerous feedback form memorializing their experience. But if feedback isn’t captured shortly after the interview, the specifics get lost, and we’re back to relying on our memories and (oh no) the gut.

Ideally, interviewers should be checking off success indicators as they move through their prepared questions, which makes feedback collection significantly easier and more effective. The feedback now directly answers the question of whether the candidate demonstrates behaviors that indicate success in the role instead of whether the interviewer “liked” the candidate. The feedback should also include a few quantitative questions asking the interviewer to rate the candidate on key core competencies and a few open-ended questions so that the interviewer has the opportunity to include any other relevant information. The feedback form should take at most five minutes to complete, and the interviewer should be required to submit it within one hour of interview completion.

5. Make Cleaner Recruiting Decisions

Finally, we get to the point we’re all waiting for – making a hiring decision. This is where having objective information about a candidate’s potential success in the role makes all the difference. If interviews were conducted using questions designed to elicit behaviors that indicate success in this role and feedback was collected from each interviewer in a timely fashion, the decision-makers are set up well. But there are still a few pitfalls to avoid.

First, groupthink is real. An interviewer might come out of an interview with a very strong opinion, but once they hear that their colleagues have opposite views, suddenly that opinion goes right out the window. Be sure to capture folks’ conclusions before they have the opportunity to confer with each other. Set the expectation that the feedback form should be completed and submitted without speaking to anyone else involved in the process.

Second, resist the urge to ignore the success indicators. It can be all too easy to let a candidate’s lack of positive behaviors slide once the hiring group gets together and reminisces about how “cool” the candidate was or “how much fun” they had during the interview. When hiring conversations head in this direction, hold firm to the positive indicators. Those are the road map for success, so don’t throw it away and let the “gut” take over at the last minute.

Third, remember that the skills and behaviors that lead to success in the role occur independently of one another. Even if a candidate was really strong in one core competency, it doesn’t automatically mean that they have the full package. If you’ve previously determined that this set of core competencies is key, don’t let a high score in one reduce the importance of another. Assess each candidate holistically on the metrics that were agreed upon in advance.

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Ultimately, to ensure that the right hiring decision is made and the best candidate is chosen for the job, it is essential to be intentional about the interview process. By defining success and using carefully crafted questions and corresponding feedback forms, the recruiting process is more likely to be based on facts and evidence rather than on memories and gut feel. This will not only ensure that the right candidate is chosen for the job but also provides a much more systematic approach to identifying potential high performers. With the right tools in place, you can have confidence that you’re making the best hiring decision possible.

Interested in training for your interviewers or a total overhaul of your interviewing process? Schedule a meeting with us today to learn how our team of trainers and consultants can make your recruiting process more inclusive and effective.

Many of the folks we work with are lawyers who spend their days writing and interpreting language. Does this contract clause mean what my client or your client says it means? How can I write this sentence without leaving any room for ambiguity? Yet, when it comes to communication with colleagues, that same precision with language tends to go out the window, causing a few core issues.

Pitfall 1: Unclear Expectations

One of the biggest problems with unclear language is that it can create unrealistic or incorrect expectations. This can lead to confusion, frustration, and even resentment when expectations are not met. If someone asks you to complete something by the end of the week, what does that mean to you? Thursday? Friday? Friday at 5pm? Friday at midnight? In what time zone? Saturday?

If we aren’t precise with our language when we delegate, we might be left with unmet expectations. We’re often very clear in our minds about what work we need to do, how we want it done, and by when we want it done. But we don’t take the time to clearly articulate these expectations to our colleagues because we assume they know what we know. But they don’t. In fact, they’ll resolve any ambiguities based on their judgment of what they think is the best approach. But is that your approach? Who knows! Often, these miscommunications aren’t discovered until the work is turned in, by which time it’s usually too late to correct any problems, which leads to frustration and resentment from both sides. To avoid that mess, be as clear and specific as possible when delegating – define every term, just like you would in a contract. What does “end of the week” actually mean to you?

Pitfall 2: Miscommunication

If you don’t make your intentions clear, you run the risk of being misunderstood. And miscommunication can be costly in a professional setting – from getting the wrong results to potentially damaging relationships with clients or colleagues. A simple example is if someone asks you for a “quick update” on a project – do they mean a verbal update, an email, or a full report?

Another area where vagueness hurts is in feedback conversations. Feedback often sounds like, “you’re doing a great job,” or “everything is fine.” But if feedback aims to help someone improve, how are these vague statements giving them the information they need to shift their behavior? Every piece of feedback should clearly describe the behavior the recipient should continue, change, or stop and give them suggestions for how to do just that. The more specific the feedback, the easier it is for the person to adjust accordingly.

Pitfall 3: Inefficiency

Vague language often leads to wasted time and resources. If you don’t provide enough detail up-front, your team may spend hours working on something you didn’t want. Additionally, when expectations are unclear it can lead to misunderstandings and re-work, resulting in more time and money down the drain.

Avoiding the Pitfalls

The good news is that these types of issues can be avoided with a bit of effort. The key is always to be specific when communicating – whether in emails or conversations. Give clear instructions and provide as many details as you can. This will help ensure everyone is on the same page and avoids any confusion or misinterpretation.

We assume that people know what we mean – whether we’ve articulated that or not. And that can lead to a lot of miscommunication because most people aren’t mind-readers. That lack of mind-reading is especially problematic when it comes to delegation and feedback.

Tips for Writing and Communicating Clearly

Use Precise Language

• Avoid abstract or ambiguous language – use concrete, literal words where possible.
• Be specific and describe exactly what you want. Don’t leave any room for interpretation.
• Ensure your message has all the necessary context so your team can understand it better and more easily.
• Check yourself! Before you hit send, double-check that your message is clear and that the recipient will understand it exactly as intended.

Avoid Jargon and Unnecessary Words

• Ditch the industry-specific words and use simple, concise language.
• Avoid throwing in extra words to make a sentence sound more professional. Cut to the chase – get your point across as quickly and efficiently as possible.
• Don’t use multi-syllabic big words in an attempt to sound smart or intelligent. This isn’t Scrabble. Keep it simple and as easy to understand as possible.
• Choose your tone carefully. No matter what kind of message you’re sending, be sure your tone is appropriate and professional.

Ask Questions to Clarify Meaning or Intentions

• If something is unclear, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. It’s better to ask questions than assume and risk misunderstanding or misinterpretation.
• If you aren’t sure if your communication was clear, ASK! Check in with the other person to see if they understood your meaning before ending the conversation.

Even when you’ve done your best to be specific, miscommunications are possible, so every delegation or feedback conversation should include clarification – time for the other person to tell you what they understood of what you said so that you can clear up any confusion. Ask questions to be sure that what you intended to communicate was received and understood.

Miscommunication is unavoidable, but we can minimize that risk if we go into every conversation aiming to define every term. Specificity in language is the guard against miscommunication, so be as detailed and precise as possible. And always ask for clarification so that you know that you were understood.

So, the next time you find yourself communicating with someone, take a few extra minutes to make sure they understand exactly what you mean (and vice versa). A little bit of clarity goes a long way in avoiding the pitfalls of undefined terms!

Happy communicating!